Attack of the Kidvengers
by MadCupcakes
Summary: Loki was just having a normal day- causing havoc in NYC and pissing off the Avengers. Only, one of his spells goes terribly wrong! He turned all the Avengers (and company) into little kids. Using them for ransom, he believes it may be a path to ruling Earth… But things don't go as planned...
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in here. I wish I did, but I don't.**

* * *

The Avengers sat in a lonesome downtown café. They were quiet, the only sound from their glasses hitting the table and their forks touching their plates. They were in disguise, just wanting a quiet time away from crowds and fans and enemies. Though, it was not the quiet they wanted. This was an awkward quiet, since they had just finished discussing Natasha's recent mission where she had to seduce a man… But luckily, someone had spoken up, breaking the quiet.

"So, Tony," Steve began, twiddling his fork between his fingers and the table.

"What?" Tony asked, his mouth full of what seemed to be beef or some kind of meat.

"Did-"

"Is it true that you and Miss Pots got together last night?" Clint asked, leaning farther onto the table and raising his eyebrows. Natasha let out a small giggle, countered by a sneer from Tony.

"Where did you hear that, Clint?" Tony snapped, his sunglasses falling off of his face due to him slightly jumping at the archer.

"I have my people," he replied, smirking. Tony glared, leaning to pick up his sunglasses, which Bruce accidentally stepped on on his way to the bathroom. He let out a groan.

"Oops," Bruce said, pursing his lips and hurrying to the bathroom. He did not want to get in a fight with Tony, because it could end badly.

"Clint, you owe me new glasses," Tony grinned, coming back up to the table. He liked Bruce, and didn't feel like fighting anything green and angry.

"Why me?" Clint whined.

"Because you annoyed him, maybe?" Steve replied, slightly smiling.

"I believe that Banner would owe you the glass," Thor stated, chugging down a mug of coffee. "Another!" He yelled, holding back from throwing the glass onto the floor.

"I agree with Thor on this one," Natasha smiled, grabbing Clint's hand.

"Thank you, Nat," Clint said.

"I was the first to make the point," Thor mumbled, feeling ignored.

"Thanks Thor," Clint replied, seeing the thunder god's expression.

"You still owe me new glasses," Tony said, smiling. He looked over his shoulder, seeing Bruce coming back.

"Ah, Banner!" Thor exclaimed.

"Yeah, Thor?" Bruce asked.

"Do you believe that you or Barton should buy Stark new glass?"

"Uhh… What?" He asked, confused.

"We think you owe him new glasses. Stark thinks Clint owes him some," Natasha sighed, taking a sip of her lemonade.

In the distance there was a small boom, unnoticed by anyone.

"I crushed them, so-"

"Bruce, say no. Just have Legolas over here buy me new ones," Tony snickered. Bruce pursed his lips again and nodded.

"Fuck you," Clint muttered, sticking his tongue out at Tony.

There was another boom, this one louder and much closer.

"What was that?" Steve said, pushing out his chair and walking to the windows.

"Was it an explosion?" Natasha asked, pulling Clint up and to the windows. The rest of the group followed.

"I did not hear it," Thor said, looking out the windows and into the sky. "But what is that?" He asked, pointing to a black speck.

The speck came closer then spun to a different direction and disappeared.

"Probably Rhodes messing around," Tony said, squinting into the light.

"Guys, we have trouble. It's him," Clint said, pointing down the street. The speck was back, and traveling fast. It was coming towards them, it was close…

Time seemed to slow as it flew past the windows. A hover board of some sort was being used by a certain God of Mischief… Who was sticking his tongue out at them as he passed.

"Was that Loki?" Natasha asked, confused.

"Guys, suit up. Now," Steve commanded, running out of the café and down the street. The rest followed; they were headed for the Stark Tower. They had declared that as their base for now, seeing as if there were any more trouble they could get to it quick.

* * *

A small missile flew past the mischief's god ear, making a loud whiz. He let out a laugh before swerving his board up, flying higher into the sky. He reached the top of a building when something had hit his helmet- a bullet. He looked over his shoulder just in time to see a blue blob heading towards him- it was Cap. Cap tackled Loki onto the nearby building, punching him right in the left eye. The next punch went right through Loki. Loki rolled to the side and pushed himself up. Cap did the same.

"Stark, get up here," Cap said over the intercom, glaring at the god as he began to walk around.

"Already here, Stripes," Tony said in a slight teasing tone, but then aimed his hands at Loki. Loki continued to pace, glancing up at them every so often.

Loki stopped walking and stared to the horizon, muttering only one word. "Come."

Cap turned his head to where Loki was looking and saw more specks. About fifty of them. They drew closer and closer, until finally they landed next to Loki. They were some kind of aliens. He waved his hand and they flew off, going to attack the others.

"Good-bye," Loki laughed, jumping onto his board and flying off.

"Where is that good for nothing piece of shit?" Tony yelled over the intercom, blasting a few of the aliens.

"Maybe he… in hiding," Thor's voice crackled through the intercom.

"I think… scared!" Clint's voice sparked through. He shot an exploding arrow into an alien's head.

"Our intercom is… Loki… cut off…"Natasha said, trying to figure out the problem.

There was more crackling before a voice came in.

"Hellooooooo?" Coulson's voice sounded through the intercom.

"Coulson, where are you?" Cap asked, obviously worried.

"Just in the tower. I fixed the intercom for you. And guess- How did you get in here?"

"Coulson, are you okay?" Natasha blasted through the com.

Evil laughter was heard from the intercom. "You mortals are so stupid. Really."

"Loki, what have you done with him?!" Thor yelled through the intercom, getting ready to fly up there.

"I did not try to kill him… again. I just captured him," Loki's voice echoed through the intercom, a small chuckle following.

"To the tower guys!" Cap yelled, running toward Stark Tower.

* * *

As they reached the top of the tower, their anger had peaked. Coulson was unconscious on the floor- luckily not dead- as well as Pepper.

"What did you do to them?!" Tony yelled, blasting at Loki. He dodged and let out an evil laugh.

"Oh, they're not dead-"

"Quiet brother!" Thor roared, punching right through Loki's face, losing his balance as the mischief god disappeared.

"Are you ever not going to fall for that?"

"Loki, stand down," Natasha said calmly.

"No."

"Do it."

"No."

"Now."

"No."

"Loki, do it now," Clint said, slinging an arrow into his bow.

"No," He replied once more, very annoyed now. He lifted his scepter and pointed it at the people before him, a grin flowing across his face. A bolt came from the scepter and was sent straight towards the Avengers.

There was a black puff of smoke.

"Shit," Loki grumbled, staring at the eight small children before him.


	2. The Beginning of a Bad Plan

**A/N- Alright, so I updated this story pretty fast. It will probably be a bit slower updating in the future. Anyways, this is super fun to write. If you guys have any ideas for this, just mention it a review or send a PM! :)**

* * *

A very confused Loki stood on the top floor of the Stark Tower, watching closely as the small eight children pushed themselves off the floor and stared up at him. Tony had shaken the now little Pepper awake and a tiny Coulson crawled out from the pile of rope. The eight did not look angry, but happy. Loki didn't understand this and turned to think.

_What if I were to use them for ransom? No one would be able to fight me. I would be invincible._

His thought were interrupted by something touching his leg, which made him shiver. He looked down and started to thrash around.

"Thor, get off of me!" He screamed, thrashing his leg, but Thor would not let go.

"I am hungry!" The small Thor whined, crawling farther up Loki's leg.

"Get off!"

"Feed me!"

"No!"

"You are a bad person!"

By this time, Thor was on Loki's back. Loki let out a nasty growl and reached back as far as his arm would go and grabbed the child, holding him far away as if he smelled. Oh wait, he did.

"Put me down!" Thor screamed.

"Alright," Loki said with a smirk, dropping the boy. In the next minute, Thor was bawling. Loki turned away from him and looked to where the others were… But they were gone.

* * *

Meanwhile in a nearby bedroom, the other seven children where fighting, playing, talking, and worst of all crying.

"Clint, give dat back!" Coulson yelled, reaching for his walkie talkie which was in Clint's hands, high above his head.

"No! You took my shoe. I want it back!" Clint shouted as he extended his arm higher above his head.

Coulson began to tear up. "But dat's mine!"

Steve and Tony ran around the room, chasing each other and pushing each other over. They were laughing and having all the fun in the world.

Natasha and Pepper had gotten into Pepper's make-up stash and began to give each other makeovers, soon forcing Bruce into their group and smearing lipstick all over his forehead.

As the room was being destroyed by everyone's chaos, Loki walked in with a bawling Thor attached to his thigh. He looked around at the chaos the children were causing and let out a sigh. Tony saw Thor and pulled him off Loki's leg (which he was thankful for) and invited him to play.

"No, I don't want to pway with him!" Steve whined.

"Stevie, please?" Tony said with a smile.

"No. I wanted it to onwy be us."

Thor began to bawl again and ran over to Loki, climbing up his leg again. Suddenly, a shoe hit Loki's face.

"Who threw the shoe?!" He yelled over all the noise. It got quiet and everyone pointed to Coulson, who immediately burst out into tears.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" He cried, coming to give Loki a hug.

"N-no! No, no, no hugs," Loki groaned as Coulson's arms wrapped around his legs. The room suddenly became loud again and Bruce walked over to Loki.

"Make them stop," he said, pointing to the girls then at his forehead.

"Why should I?"

"Because you're taking care of us."

And that's when it hit Loki. He actually had to take care of the children.

* * *

Five more long hours passed. Tony and Steve had gotten into a large fight that ended in Tony getting a bloody nose and Steve having a black eye. Bruce had tried to escape the girls only to be dragged back and forced to have another makeover. Coulson had hidden under the bed for some time, scared that Clint would take more of his things. Clint climbed to the top of the dresser and watched the group, sometimes climbing down to snatch a few more items for his 'nest.' Thor stayed attached to Loki's leg, begging for food and toys.

Loki sat on the couch, staring out the window, watching as the children began to tire themselves out. Tony and Steve continued to wrestle until Steve passed out. Coulson went next to Steve, grabbing his hand, and falling asleep. Bruce had fallen asleep, somehow on top of the counter where the girls couldn't reach him. Natasha and Pepper had followed Clint around until they grew sleepy and fell asleep in the bedroom. Clint climbed back to his 'nest' and began to nap. Thor slid off of Loki's leg onto the ground, snoring. Tony crawled onto the couch next to Loki and patted him on the shoulder.

"Loki. Loki. Loki. Loki. Loki," Tony repeated over and over again until Loki turned his head to him. "I'm hungry. Get me some food?"

"No."

"Do you want me to starve?"

"Actually, yes."

"You're mean."

"Did you just figure that out?"

"Foooooooooooooood," Tony moaned, crawling off the couch and wobbling around.

"No!"

"Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooood! Get me food!"

"FINE!"

Loki walked over and opened the fridge. He pulled out a block of cheddar, handing it to Tony. Tony shook his head.

"Sandwich. Peanut butter jelly," he demanded.

"Alright. Stop being picky."

Loki searched through every cupboard, trying to find a loaf of bread. But when he found one, it was covered in mold. He shrugged and pulled two slices out, placing them on a plate and then searching for the peanut butter and jelly.

As he had found everything and placed them onto the bread, he thought about the mold. _Oh, it's fine. He is not going to get ill._ He handed the sandwich to Tony, who immediately gobbled it up.

"That was good!" Tony smiled, skipping to the couch.

"Will you go to sleep now?" Loki sighed.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. Everyone else is. And it is quite dark already."

"Awww…"

"Go to sleep, Stark."

"Okay," Tony said with a yawn, closing his eyes. Loki walked over and smiled at the sleeping kids, until he heard something come from Tony's mouth. He dismissed the word and began to walk to find a bed to sleep in.


	3. Breakfast Time

**A/N- Russian in this chapter was done by Goggle Translate because that is my only source of Russian. I am sorry if it is wrong, if you would like please correct me.**

* * *

_Fury sat at his desk at the new SHIELD headquarters. His office was dim lighted and the darkness outside didn't help. He was typing frantically on his computer since he had heard of Loki's attack on NYC only a few hours ago. A few agents had brought newspapers that already contained pictures of odd aliens on hover boards or one of the Avengers fighting them._

_This 'report' that a 'top' agent had assigned him was becoming stressful, as he had to write up everything he read and had heard about, whilst doing interviews (which he most certainly did not want to do). After too many stressful hours, he decided to call in the group to ask them what had happened._

_He pulled a cell phone to his ear and listened to it ring, until there was no answer. He tried four more times, only for it to end in the same way. On the last try, he reached voicemail._

* * *

Loki's head pounded as his eyes opened. His cheek was moist and his knee felt as if it was going to fall off. He pushed himself out of the bed that he had found one floor down and walked to the dresser, where he held up a mirror and stared at himself.

"Shit," he mumbled, starting to fix his hair. There were spikes on his head. Bright pink lipstick covered his left cheek. Above his eyes was a dark orange powder. The girls must've gotten to him while he was asleep.

Suddenly, Natasha jumped at him and bit him in the shin while Pepper punched his knee. They were screaming.

"LOKI YOU MEANIE!" Natasha screamed, biting him again.

"Get off me, child!"

"Feed us! We're hungry!" Pepper whined, scratching him.

"I will if you stop trying to hurt me!"

"нет!" Natasha began to blabber in Russian. "кормить нас сейчас!"

"I WILL FEED YOU IF YOU GET OFF!" Loki shouted.

* * *

Loki stood in the elevator with Natasha still blabbering Russian on his head and Pepper holding onto his leg. His eyes were wide and he was extremely annoyed at these two girls. Luckily, as they were still attacking him, he had time to fix his looks. He looked normal again, but he had a feeling that it would turn worse again.

As the doors clicked open, Natasha and Pepper jumped off of him and ran over to Clint, who was pretending to be a bird. He kept shouting "Caw caw!" as he ran around, extending his 'wings.' The two joined him.

Thor and Bruce walked over to Loki and handed him an apron while pushing him into the kitchen. "Make us peanut butter sandwiches!" They yelled at the same time before skipping away to join the others.

Coulson climbed onto the counter and sat, kicking his legs while watching the group. He mainly kept his eyes on Steve, who was looking around for Tony. Tony wasn't anywhere to be seen though. He then turned to Loki, who was glaring at him.

"You have to put on da apron," he said, pointing at it, "so you don't get your dress dirty!"

Loki glared and began to shout again. "IT'S NOT A DRESS!"

The room became silent and everyone stared at him. Coulson began to tear up again. "I didn't know! I'm sorry, Loki!"

"You better be sorry," he stated, turning around and opening the cupboards and the refrigerator, looking for more food.

In his search, he found the moldy bread that he had used in Tony's sandwich, tomatoes, celery, broccoli, ham, expired milk, a dozen eggs, a spread called Nutella, jelly, peanut butter, ketchup, potatoes, apples, and a box of pop-tarts. He threw the milk and bread out and tasted the nutella, soon hiding it in a pocket to keep for later.

Coulson held up a fresh loaf of bread though he was still crying. "I-I brought you bread."

Loki sighed then turned his head to him. "Where did you get that?"

"The cold fridge," he mumbled, slightly blushing. Loki took the loaf from his hands and pulled out a slice.

"It has ice on it."

"It wasn't me!" Coulson yelled before running away. Loki sighed again.

* * *

"Breakfast is ready," Loki mumbled, setting eight plates on the counter. Seven of the children climbed up and dug right into their sandwiches. Clint spat his out and dissected it, finding crushed tomato and celery with jelly on top, sprinkled with a bit of salt. Bruce swallowed then gagged, and with Thor, found an egg and peanut butter jelly sandwich. Steve and Pepper had ketchup and apple slice 'salad' while Natasha had the same, but in sandwich form. Coulson was the only one with an actual peanut butter jelly sandwich, but there was a small hint of ketchup in there.

All of them forced themselves to eat it, making faces and sticking out their tongues. They were hungry enough to eat this, but they complained about it the whole time.

While the kids were eating, Loki searched for Tony. He didn't want him to be out of the tower, especially since he was one of the smarter ones. He could easily find his way to the SHIELD headquarters and tell them what happened to the Avengers.

As he walked towards the elevator, he heard moaning and groaning noises coming from the bathroom. He turned towards it and slowly opened the door, seeing a green-faced Tony.

"Oh," Loki said, reaching down and picking up the child in his arms. Tony groaned again and stuck out his tongue.

"I don't feel so good…" he murmured as he burped.

Loki set Tony on the couch and watched him as he rolled over and started moaning again. He pounded on the couch with his fists. Steve wobbled over and hugged him, only for him to be pushed away.

"Don't touch me… I hurtttttttttttttt…" Tony said with a growl and a groan.

"But Tony," Steve whimpered, hugging him again, "I don't want you to huwt."

* * *

**A/N- Hey guys! I was planning to update this yesterday but I got busy making cookies. I'm really happy with the reviews I've gotten so far (thank you!). I'm beginning a search for a new beta reader since mine had left for personal reasons. Also, I'm sorry this wasn't... the best chapter in the world, but I promise the next one will be better (in which Loki goes shopping).**


	4. Arising Problems

As the day dredged on, the children had only become more annoying than they had originally been. Not only were they destroying the interior of the tower, they were destroying Loki's eardrums. He wasn't sure if after this whole fiasco he would be able to hear anymore because of all the screaming and crying. To escape the noise, he had locked himself in the bathroom until little Natasha had come banging on the door whining to use the toilet.

He sat on the couch, Tony repeatedly sneezing in his lap. He hated when the child would climb onto him, but at least Tony was better than all the others. Steve often climbed onto the couch and poked Tony, asking if he was healthy yet, but then Coulson would drag him away. Again, Natasha and Pepper were torturing Bruce and Clint was shooting a nerf gun at Thor.

"Loki, we're hungry!" They all yelled at once.

"Have I not already fed you demons?" He scoffed, picking up Tony and placing him onto the ground.

"But we want lunch!" Pepper screamed, running into the kitchen and searching through the drawers. "Where's the food?!"

Loki raised his eyebrow and walked over into the kitchen and nearly pulled his hair out from what he saw. There was no food, only a trail of crumbs leading into the bedroom. The trail ended at a pile of small nerf guns and a play bow and arrow.

"BARTOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!" Loki shouted, his face red, stomping over and grabbing his scepter which just happened to find its way into the little hawk's pile.

"Yes, mommy dear?" Clint asked as he smirked. Loki glared.

"Do not call me that!" He yelled. "What did you do with the food?"

"Eat it," he said nonchalantly as he leaned on the wall, "What else would I do with it?"

Natasha was awed at his personality, and clearly showed it. "You're talking to Loki like he's not your mommy!"

Loki tilted his head slightly as he stared at Clint. He looked taller. Loki shrugged it off and his face became red once again. He held his scepter towards Clint. "That food was to last you until I became king!"

"Then you could save a pwincess!" Steve yelled happily, dancing around. "I wanna be a king! I wanna be a king!"

"You couldn't be a king if you wanted," Natasha sneered, sticking out her tongue.

"Don't talk to Stevie dat way!" Coulson screamed and jumped at her, pulling her hair as hard as he could.

"OW GET OFF MEEEEEEE!" Natasha screeched. Loki's eye twitched and he walked out, slamming the door behind him and sealing the door shut with a blast from his scepter.

"Only a few more days. Calm down, Loki, You will be fine. Just get a hold of that agent and-"

"Brother, why you talking to yourself?" Thor asked, already on his shoulder.

"How did you get there?!" Loki yelled and began to thrash around. Thor fell off and got thrown to the other side of the room. He began to tear up and ran into the bathroom to hide. "Damn it Thor!"

He stalked over to the couch and flopped onto it, putting his feet up on the armrest and dropping his scepter onto the ground. He closed his eyes and sighed, but opened them right afterwards due to two small hands grabbing onto his foot. He looked at them and saw Tony on his lower shins, looking like death.

"I hurt…" Tony moaned.

Loki rolled his eyes and reached to grab Tony before standing up and walking over to the bedroom door. He kicked it open and glanced around, not happy with the sight of children clawing at each other and screaming.

"EVERYONE SHUT IT!" Loki screamed over the noise. All the children suddenly stopped and most of them flopped onto their bottoms and stared up at him.

"Dat's a bad word," Coulson said, pointing up at him.

"Corner, now," He commanded. "Alright, you little demons, we are… Going shopping. I-"

"Can we get lipstick?"

"A sword?"

"A blanket?"

"I want a tiara!"

"I want a twain!"

"QUIET!" Loki shouted, placing Tony on the ground. He was getting to the end of his wits. "No more yelling. No more crying. No more whining. No more anything!"

"But-"

"No more buts! I am to take you shopping only to buy food and medicine, and I must bring you for you will all destroy this place by the time I return!"

"And you need help finding everything, don't you Mommy dearest?" Clint replied snottily.

"Barton, be qui- Oh shit."

Loki stared wide-eyed at Clint. He was becoming taller than all the others. His face wasn't as pudgy as before and his clothes were starting change. He looked at about the age of ten while the others were still as young as they had been when the spell was cast.

"How?" Loki asked himself and began to pace the floor.

"Why are you asking me? I don't know," Clint responded.

"The spell… Why isn't it working on you? Out of all people…?"

"Because I'm just that awesome, mother dearest."

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"

"Geez, anger issues much?"

"Shut it!"

"You shouldn't be talking like that in front of little kids."

"Well you should not be growing."

"Amazing comeback."

"Quiet!"

"Hmph," Clint scoffed, "Let's just go shopping already. I mean, I can't, like, do anything against you unless I want to be in diapers again. Which sucks."

"You suck!" Steve yelled.

"Shut up, Steve," Clint said, shaking his head.

"You shouldn't be talking like that in front of little kids," Loki mimicked Clint, acting like a child himself.

"Let's just get this over with. I hate shopping, and I hate all these guys. And I hate you most of all."

Loki glared at Clint and Clint glared at Loki. Loki was annoyed that Clint had begun to resist the spell, but he would make sure that Clint would not ruin his plans. But for now, he had to worry about Tony's sickness.

* * *

**A/N- Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for not updating this earlier. For awhile I only had access to mobile so I've only written this over the past two days and I edited it super fast and I hope you guys liked it and... Okay, I need to calm down. Anyways, thank you so much for the reviews and such, and I promise the Loki going shopping will happen next chapter! ;)**

**So, what did you guys think? Do you want Clint to grow up? Do you want something exciting to happen on the shopping trip?**


	5. Shopping?

_I have to take them with me or they could escape… But if I take them with they could run away… No, no, I must take them with. Shit._

Loki paced back and forth in front of the children, every few seconds giving them a deadly stare. Finally, with a heaving sigh, he made up his mind.

"Now, you little demons, go find some coats," Was all that Loki got out before the children ran past- or under- him. Clint stayed standing against the wall and stuck out his tongue.

"Coats, hm? Only pussies wear coats," Clint shook his head as he spoke, "and plus, it's only, like, 40 degrees out. Duh."

"Be quiet you," Loki scolded, pointing his finger at the boy, who was getting even bigger. "And stop growing!"

"Oh, are you angry?" Clint teased and ran out of the room and hopped on the couch. "You know, mother dearest, I could babysit the 'little devils' while you go buy medicine for that stupid boy."

"Hm, that sounds- HEY!" Loki yelled as he realized what would happen if he left the kids alone with Clint. "I am not letting you be with them alone. You would run away from here and go find Fury."

"Damn it!"

"Ha."

"Shut up."

* * *

"I WANT THE PINK ONE PEPPER! YOU GET THE GREEN ONE!" Natasha's voice bellowed from a floor down.

"NO YOU GET DA GREEN ONE!" Pepper responded.

"Be quiet," Bruce mumbled, pulling on a big blue coat.

"You is annoying!" Thor yelled, coming out of an oversized red jacket.

"Stevie, can we howd hands?" Coulson asked Steve with bright pink cheeks.

"Sure!" Steve replied with a smile.

"PEPPER LET GO!" Natasha screamed, ripping the coat in half. Suddenly, they both burst out in tears and began to tackle each other.

"Drama queens much?" Clint said from the shadows. He walked over and pulled the two girls apart, glaring at them. "You know, girlies, don't get in too much trouble. We don't want Loki to turn us into rats or something."

"Rats? Oh, no, no! I would choose something much more demeaning such as, hm, a two-headed crab with no legs and… it would be blind and very, very, verrrrry idiotic," Loki's voiced echoed throughout the floor as he appeared in front of Clint.

"Wait, wasn't that in the Fairly Odd-Parents show or something once?" Clint asked.

"But this crab is blind and had no legs!"

"So? It's still copying and unimaginable."

"Do you want to be one?"

"Not really."

"Good."

"Can we go already?"

"Does everyone have their jackets?"

"I think so, let's just go!"

* * *

The group of nine stepped out into the 'chilly' air of New York City. Loki had a disguise of a man (one he shouldn't have picked because he looked quite like a pedophile, but how was he to know what pedos looked like on Earth?) so no one would recognize him. On his face was a very uncomfortable mustache that he often ended up scratching for long periods of time, and at one point looked like he was picking his nose. Whenever a child would fall behind, he would turn to the group and motion with his hand to come forward and say "Come Children" in his now deeper voice. People gave him weird looks, but he just glared back or snapped his fingers and they would just happen to slide on some ice.

Clint stood on the right side of Loki and Tony on the left. The rest were behind him and they kept singing Christmas carols. Most of the carols were just part of Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. Thor would always mumble along, not knowing the words since he wasn't from the planet and did not have the same beliefs as the others.

As they walked down the streets, Loki glanced at the windows of stores and read the red and green posters often labeled "Christmas Sale 10% OFF!" He would roll his eyes after reading them. Puny humans with their puny currency and puny sales.

"Can we go to Toys R Us?" Steve asked suddenly as they passed the huge toy store.

"No," Loki grumbled.

"Candy Land Candy Shop?" Thor asked.

"No."

"American Gir Dowl?" Coulson yelled. The two girls stared at him and Clint laughed.

"That's for girls, little bud," Clint laughed, "It has the word 'girl' in it!"

"Fine!" Coulson screamed, turning around and running into the store. Loki's fists clenched and his face grew red.

"I'm going to Toys R Us!" Steve yelled and ran off into the toy store. And without a word, Thor and Bruce ran into the candy shop. Natasha and Pepper ran after Steve. Loki was about to explode.

"This is an opportunity to-"

"Barton, if you try to run you become a crab."

"Fine. I'll go get Thor and Bruce," Clint said as he strolled into the candy shop.

"Mommy, I hurt," Tony whispered. Loki picked him up and held him. Tony rested his head on his shoulder as they walked into Toys R Us, looking around for the three children.

"Do not worry, Stark. We will get your medicine soon enough," Loki said in a comforting voice.

"Excuse me sir," a voice came from behind Loki. He spun around and stared at the police officer in front of him. "I'm going to have to ask you to put the child down."

"Why should I?" Loki asked, pulling Tony in closer.

"We have proof that you are a sexual predator. Please put the child down."

"No!"

"We will only ask you one more time: Put the child down."

"No!"

Suddenly, something hit Loki's chest and a shock of electricity went through his body. He fell to the floor, unconscious.

"MOMMY!" Tony screamed as he fell with Loki. The police officer picked him up before cuffing Loki and dragging him to his police car, pushing him inside.

When they were inside the car, he placed Tony next to him. "You okay, son?"

"You hurt mommy!"

* * *

**A/N- Oh, hello there! Sorry I haven't uploaded anything in, uh, 17 days! I'm trying to find time to type all this stuff but I'm always caught on mobile and such.**

**Anyways, hoped you liked the chapter! What should happen next chapter? Should Loki stay in his pedo disguise? Should Tony attack the police man? PM me, message me (on tumblr) or say in the reviews! :D**


	6. IMPORTANT NOTICE!

**A/N**

I am very sorry for being so dang inactive. But I will be republishing this on another account for... reasons.

**1.** Quizzes, tests, and exams up the wazoo

**2.** Lots and lots of family matters

**3.** Two near death experiences

**4.** A Superwholock phase

Those are the reasons why I was gone, and I will not go into specific detail. Anyway, if you would like to see this story republished, it will be on missxmad. I am very sorry for leaving you like this and I really really REALLY regret leaving for so long like this. It will be republished with a few grammar fixes and **A NEW CHAPTER** in a **few weeks**. I sincerely apologize, especially to you, dear Guest. I know you really liked this story. AND more chapters will be coming. I PROMISE. It should only be about a week in between chapters once I get it republished but I am also working a possible 15-20 chapter fanfic.

Anyways, once more I will say that the story will be republished after such a long inactivity on the account of missxmad. There will be a new chapter once it uploads. It may take a week or two, but I promise it will all be republished **BEFORE July 12th.**


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